*two black folks with locs in black and white on a distorted floral background.*

In leftist communities, the phrase "scarcity is a myth" is practically an article of faith.

One part self-help, two parts flat out lie, the belief that scarcity doesn't exist gets smeared across a range of scenarios.

Got a friend who hasn't been fucked in five years? That's their problem, scarcity is a myth.

Your boss laid you off and replaced you with the AI you programmed? Quit your bellyachin' and log on to LinkedIn because scarcity is a myth.

Your sister says she can't get a date when her cane is visible in her Hinge pfp? Well other cripples are doing fine on the apps, and scarcity is a myth. Could be her cane has bad vibes. Ya ever think of that?

Love is the topic queers most often subject to “scarcity is a myth.”

This is due in great part to whose interests form the center of queer communities.

If you're abled, white, light, thin, rich, or impossibly buff, things are likely going great for you. For the rest of us, entropy reigns.

Scarcity is very real. It's manufactured, but that doesn't mean scarcity is fake.

Capitalism doesn't work without scarcity. Its ideal is having more demand than supply. That's what scarcity means.

In queer leftist communities, we create our own romantic scarcity. We create romantic scarcity when we value colorism over connection. We create romantic scarcity when we value capitalist ideas of physical beauty above connection.

We create romantic scarcity when we surreptitiously strike disabled or fat people from our dating pools. Our prejudiced preferences and presumptions about what love must look like to be good creates scarcity.

So it's no surprise that Tinder seems deader than ever. It's no surprise that perfectly normal Grindr interactions litter my Twitter (sorry, "X" lol) feed. It's tough out there.

The scarcity capitalism creates makes the obsession with love understandable. That doesn't mean everything we do because of scarcity is justifiable.

Tarot ethics can get dicey when we read about others. The line between reading about someone and reading someone in their absence is thin.

With love readings, boundaries can be slippery. Tarot can actually fuel obsession when it comes to love readings.

I've seen people find themselves begging the cards to restart a dead relationship even after the other person has made their needs clear. I've known people who use tarot to track their ex's new relationships.

These are not ethical ways to use tarot. These are not helpful ways to use tarot. They compound capitalist

Tarot can remind us what we value, and make sure we seek relationships that value us. But getting what you want depends on how you work with the tool.

Scarcity in, scarcity out.

Start With Yourself

I'm a Pisces Venus, Pisces Sun poet. I know what it's like to get swept away in a new romance. I'm also a survivor, and I know getting swept away isn't always a good thing.

People's perception of my gender depends almost entirely on who's looking at me.

White women and non-Black people tend to regard me as masculine. This has been true across my life, whether I wore a skirt or a suit. Society masculinizes black fem/mes.

*Please note that when I talk about fems, femmes, or fem/mes, I never mean straight cis women. Argue with yo mama! I don't have to argue with mine about this, because she's *actually* a fem. Plus we're estranged. BRB, crying about it.

Anyways, never was this perception weirder than when I was finally able to access testosterone.

Hormones are magic. 10/10, highly recommended.

Most of the drawbacks I expected. Growing body hair is low-key itchy and painful. Acne. So much acne.

I finally had access to my own body. So imagine my surprise when those around me began to lambast or neglect the truest part of my gender: my femmeness.

So, naturally, when I met someone who could still see me and treat me in the ways I expected, I let him drag me through hell.

Tarot told me he would. But here's the thing, it led me there too. When I met that man, I pulled Ace of Cups, Knight of Cups, Two of Cups.

I had to pursue it. But did that mean I had to let it consume me too?

How can we work with tarot to keep us grounded when a new love has our head spinning?

The times we turn to tarot are often our most needful, our most vulnerable.

Desire is complex, volatile. Even our nearest and dearest may not be able to tell us what to do in matters of the heart.

Tarot is a way to turn towards ourselves and our own needs. That's what I mean when I say start with yourself.

Self-love is great, but I don't mean self-love. I mean working with tarot to discern your wants and needs in a relationship.

I don't blame myself for seeing those cards and running with them for over two years. It was a daily pull, and it was accurate as fuck.

But what's good for a day ain't always good for a year. Love readings that start with yourself are more likely to bring you what you want.

Diversify Your Methods

There's this annoying refrain that seems to come up a lot. Tarot readers, healers, mediums, herbalists, etc. aren't therapists.

And like, yeah, duh. Except for when they are, of course this is true. But like, ok, and...

If you aren't a medical professional, you absolutely should not give medical advice! That's a given.

I have two therapists. I'll continue to work with them indefinitely. But if I had two therapists and no other sort of spiritual or wellness care, my support ecosystem would be incomplete.

Let me be so fucking clear, because spiritual and wellness spaces are full of anti-vax, anti-"western med" assholes who push that shit like they know something. That's not what I'm saying here.

Spiritualists aren't therapists, but therapists aren't spiritualists either! Herbalists aren't doctors, nor are most doctors herbalists. There are exceptions, and they should be celebrated.

Why not also celebrate people meeting their diverse needs in many places?

There are many people for whom a barber is a more effective sort of mental health care than a therapist. It's a difference of culture.

There are people, like myself, whose health has improved via pills and herbs in equal measure. And yoga. And somatics. And EMDR. And microdosing.

American culture is fucking disgusting. We need to use everything we have to stay alive and thrive.

I won't tell you what to do, but me? Imma grab whatever works and hold onto it until it doesn't.

Where are you being shallow? Where are you being

over-forgiving? What did you learn from past relationships?

These are all questions that tarot can help you figure out. Therapy, talking to friends, meditation, and other things can help you figure things out.

You got plenty of tools in your tool box. These questions can keep us from becoming too other focused when we're looking for love.

Hold Up. Wait.

Relationships can break down around points of decision.

You may decide that dating was fun, but putting a label on things feels like too much. Maybe you love being boyfriends, but engagement is a bridge too far. You probably have good reasons for these feelings.

That doesn't mean you can't look into them.

Are you reluctant to make it official because your beloved snores like a buzzsaw through an ancient oak tree? Or do you have a fear of abandonment that keeps you from feeling lovable? Could it be both?

Is this the first time the threat of commitment made you shudder like sleeping alone after you watched Hereditary? Or has this happened three or four times since you learned your first boyfriend only kissed you on a dare?

There are things we aren't totally ready to admit to ourselves. People have devised many methods for getting to the bottom of such issues.

Tarot love readings can be a marker of urgency for queers. You want to know how it'll work out and you wanna know right now!

But what if we waited and saw? What if we judged a tree by it's fruit. What we felt we could let go without judging ourselves, judging somebody else?

These are the pleasures that delay provides.

Sometimes the best tarot love reading is no tarot love reading. Sometimes our intuition needs no tool. Sometimes silence is enough.