Examining Your Spiritual Practice
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Our spiritual practices are a reflection of who we are, and who or what we believe god to be.
It forms alongside the things that make us tick.
Our spiritual life may be entwined with our earliest memories. It could be the foundation of how you show up in the world, even if it has evolved over time.
Others are new to questioning their spirituality and developing an independent practice. For those people, their spirituality may be blooming in front of them each day.
Each position poses a different challenge.
We're watching cults of personality and literal cults form all around us. We're watching folks slide down the spirituality to white supremacy pipeline faster than we can act.
It makes certain people so much money they don't dare speak on it.
I've been running this service since 2011, before most similar services came online. I've seen comings, goings, and major falls.
But I also know the tone has changed. Everyone seems to be yelling now. Everyone is trying to make their own name by exposing fakes and scammers.
A noble goal, if we took a second to define our terms, something that's separate from the work of this blog.
There's more trying to define what a practice looks like for everyone else. There's more condescending advice.
There's more sneering rhetoric around do's and don'ts than I've ever seen in this space.
It concerns me. This is the kind of climate that breeds all manner of bad shit.
It feels like it came to a head this week with Danielle Johnson's brutal and senseless murder of her infant daughter and partner.
What kills me about it, though I never followed her, is that people had spoken out about it before anything tragic happened.
We know she fell for right wing conspiracies. Some of her students say she acted unethically toward them.
If these concerns were taken seriously the first time, would it have reduced any harm? Would it have provided an opportunity for self reflection?
Spiritualists are increasingly treating each other like competition. There's a level of celebrity to be had in spiritual spaces, and it can look like jockeying for power.
Everyone wants to be right. Elders have the smallest platform. It's a bit sad.
I don't claim to know how to fix it, but it seems like it's time for a serious examination of our practice and how it shows up in the world.
What personal work can be done to alert us to harmful changes in our relationship to spirituality?
How can we make our spirituality anti-oppressive? How do we make our spirituality responsive to the violence around us, and even our own capacity for harm?
When I say anti-oppressive spirituality, I mean a practice that's relevant to the moment. I mean a practice that lifts one up instead of tearing other oppressed people down.
I also mean a practice that helps us liberate ourselves.
I'm lucky to have been born into many such practices. My duty and dedication to stewarding my gifts is my thanks.
But personal awareness and empowerment simply isn't enough. Without spiritual community, there's no accountability.
And in our competitive climate, we can see the makings of "none of my business culture." Violence thrives in "none of my business" culture.
Personal empowerment alone breeds a holier than thou attitude.
Purposeful action engages us with others, and allows us to put our spiritual principals into use.
An anti-oppressive spirituality is mindful of the earth's resources. It avoids practices that directly harm or overly tax the earth.
It also demands that we extend our spiritual beliefs to how we treat one another, engage with capitalism, and do our work in the world.
Spiritual Foundations
If our spiritual practice is the same as our parents, or formed in childhood, our relationship to it may be less examined due to comfort.
This can be similar to those of us whose practice formed in their teens. Those unstable, uncertain, rebellious years of our lives were host to many transformations.
We were starting new programs in school, developing crushes, and becoming ourselves. We were struggling to understand ourselves and develop an authentic spirituality.
That sounds like so much work in hindsight! It's a wonder that we built the bricks that formed our spirituality with all that going on. Kudos to our former selves!
Transformations in our spiritual lives at that time may have looked like a turn away from our parents' religions.
It may have marked a time of deepening faith and rites of passage.
For some, like myself, it was when my magic was ready for use. It was when I received my cards and begin to read for myself and my community.
At 12 years old, my mother and aunt took me to a magic convention for my birthday. Our sleepy Jersey town was off a stop on the Garden State Parkway that hosted lots of conventions. This one had aura readings, crystals, and lots of white witches.
But what I was most interested in was the magical bazaar. It was sparse, and we came late in the day.
I felt pulled to a tarot card station and to some dream balm. I chose between two decks of tarot cards, and spent my mother's money on the one I still use today, tarot of a moon garden.
But that was the easy part, just picking how I would use the family gift.
Shortly after I received my cards, my great grandmother revealed that she could see ghosts, spirits, and angels.
This information was delivered as a matter of fact. She laid the story out and we moved on. It was in no way counter to her deep Christian faith in her opinion. It was merely something extra.
I had always known that my mother had predictive dreams and clairvoyance, often about very negative events. I also knew that she practiced some magic. I had not considered that as a child, at 12, I would be called to continue the gift of my bloodline.
It's hilarious that we're asked or called to make such personal spiritual choices at an age where we're most subject to outside influence.
Our bodies are changing, our brains are changing, and we're called to make big decisions.
Once I got my cards, my mother and aunt quickly called upon me to read for them. Of course I did, it wasn't like I had a choice.
"Cyree, do you have your cards?" was often the first thing that my family would say upon seeing me.
If I didn't, I had to prepare to be chewed out
So I developed my practice, as a youth, with my family and community. I never charged, and I didn't refuse anyone. I didn't feel I could.
And to this day, I use the same cards. I don't have the same spirituality. I still practice the conjuring tradition of my elders and ancestors, but I've made it my own through study and use.
Like me and my cards, some of us have much the same spirituality and practice that we did when we were twelve or thirteen.
Some of us haven't examined our spirituality since we first pulled it into our lives like a comfy quilt on a chilly day.
It's brought us comfort and peace, and that's been enough. There's nothing wrong with that, not inherently.
But over time, a comfy old quilt starts to get holes in it. It may shred from use. And pretty soon it's torn, dirty, and no longer covers us well.
Examining Your Practice
Our practices aren't only ours. They're a patchwork of remnants from our ancestors, upbringings, and our society. Things get sewn in that we would never choose, not even at thirteen.
It may have a little bit of grandma's Jesus fervor that makes you more susceptible to starseed schemes.
It may be hostile to those who follow hierarchical religions, and lead you to believe such people are backwards.
These things sneak in. They may do so unnoticed.
That is, until you examine what your beliefs are and make a commitment. That commitment may be to live an examined life.
Or it could be to develop an anti-oppressive practice. Both of those commitments lead to greater spiritual wholeness.
Spiritual wholeness is one way we ensure we are living a purposeful life. It is a way we make sure we are living an examined life, a life of which we are proud.
This means that our spirituality doesn't harm others, the earth, or ourselves. This is because what causes harm cannot bring wholeness. We're connected to each other and the earth through our spirituality.
An oppressive spiritual practice can isolate us from each other. An oppressive spirituality may use abusive tactics. It may be culty as fuck.
These problems can impede our spiritual wholeness, or even compromise our physical safety.
This is why we choose to examine our spiritual practices.
Spirit is one of the most ephemeral parts of us, but it is also one of the most essential.
When we commit to an examined spirituality, we make spirit-led choices about who we want to be and how we want to show up in the world.
By being here, I hope you are making a commitment to building an anti-oppressive spiritual practice. My work is here to hold you accountable to your own desires and convictions.
The Spiritual Hallway Closet
Our practice can be a bit like a hallway closet–stay with me here. We use it every day without much thought.
It's always there when we need it, and usually that's enough. Every few days, weeks, months, or years we add something or pull out our roller skates, or a winter coat.
But because it's always available, anything that used to fit, regardless of whether it needs to stay in the home, gets tossed there.
So over the course of a lifetime, we collect things we may have outgrown, or no longer have use for. Eventually it's full of flat sneakers and dusty boxes that you haven't opened for years.
Inside of your practice's hallway closet there may be things you've outgrown.
There may be things that no longer look good on you. There could even be shit that should never again see the light of day.
Think of change as a spring cleaning. By committing to finishing this course, you are honoring a need to dig through that hallway closet and chuck whatever no longer serves you.
You may find that things which no longer reflect your current spiritual understanding are hiding in your hallway closet. It could be appropriation, materialism, or even bigotry.
Self-Forgiveness & The Work of Change
I ask that you try to practice forgiveness for the old selves you may find on this journey.
Have compassion for teen you or even adult you who sought truth in their spirit. If you are gentle with that old self, they may guide you to something beautiful as you work through these lessons.
Even if they lack the wisdom that your present self possesses, they're still an integral part of your spiritual identity.
Self forgiveness makes space for transformation by displacing shame. That doesn't mean that you absolve yourself for bad behavior.
It means that you acknowledge your missteps so you can do the hard work of change. And change is hard.
So how do you do the work of change? Well, first, you decide what you want to change. Then you figure out why you want to change it.
After all, not all reasons for change are good ones. Make a mental note of what you want to change about your practice, no matter how large or small the change.
When you're done doing whatever you're doing while you're listening to this, I encourage you to write it down.
Change doesn't only mean getting rid of stuff.
It can also mean you decide to do more of something, less of something, or something completely different.
What's most important is that you decide to do something. Stagnation is the enemy of the examined life. When we stay present with our beliefs, we are better able to align our actions to our highest goals.
Presence means being kind to yourself while you work through any new information.
It can mean being open to new information, and running it through the lens of what you already know and believe.
It means being open to new ideas. It means being open to change.
Further Thoughts
hey, i'm cyree jarelle. I run Collective Cartomancy. I help queers, feminists, and leftists connect with their intuition using tarot and cartomancy. More on me.
